This week's reflections
11 plus results came out this month. In grammar school areas, some Year 6 children are celebrating and some are in tears.
In the same towns, Year 13 parents are looking at predicted grades and asking how a child who got into grammar school is now on track for a C.
I have seen both sides of this.
On my mind this week
Most of my friends have children who have sat the 11 plus or are about to. Observing it from the outside, it’s obvious the parents split into camps.
Some don’t believe in tutors at all. Some have had a tutor booked since Year 4. Some pay for a solid year of tutoring before the exam. Some leave it until the last few weeks and hope for the best. A few hold their child back from sitting it at all, because the thought of their child failing frightens them more than the exam frightens the child.
Each camp is certain it has got it right. The school gate and the WhatsApp groups make sure everyone knows it.
It takes me back to my own experience. I went to a selective school. Eight of us from my primary school applied and I was the only one who got in, until my friend Rachel won her place on appeal. We have been friends ever since.
Neither of us went round the playground bragging about it. What I did get was a hymn book full of messages. In 1995 that was the cool thing to sign at the end of Year 6. Most of them said some version of, “Have fun at boff job school, you boffin.” It didn’t bother me in the slightest. I had worked for my place and I was proud of it. It still makes me laugh to look back at these comments.
Fast forward to today. Parents turn up at the school gate with balloons and cakes for the children who got in, with no thought for the ones who didn’t. Those children are standing right next to them. Thoughtless.
I saw the other side as Head of Year at a grammar school.
Some families maintained a healthy environment. There was a desk away from the TV and someone at home still asked what they had learned that day.
Other families relaxed. The thinking was “They’re in now, my job is done.” I understand why. Getting a child through the 11 plus is exhausting for everyone in the house. By Year 9 some of those children were on the PlayStation until midnight. They arrived tired and did the minimum. Their grades started to slip long before anyone at home noticed.
Grammar school hides this for a while. A bright child can coast to good GCSEs on the same habits that got them through Year 6.
A Levels are where that stops working. The content is harder and the questions ask students to apply what they know, not repeat it. Re-reading doesn’t prepare anyone for that. The child still sits at the desk every evening, so the parent assumes all is well. The first real feedback is results day.
I don’t say this to make anyone feel guilty. If you stepped back after the 11 plus, you did what most parents do. You trusted a good school. Schools teach students what to learn. Very few have the time to teach them how to learn.
Study tip
Do the work.
There is no trick. No app or video will do it for you. Open your books every day and do some work.
For parents
If your child got into grammar school this autumn, enjoy it. They earned it and so did you.
Keep an eye on how the learning is going, not only on the hours at the desk.
Try swapping, “Have you done your revision?” for “What did you learn today?”
The first one gets a shrug. The second tells you whether anything is sticking.
If your child is in Year 12 or 13 and their current grades are lower than you expected, there is still time to change what they do.
Quote of the week
“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.”
Ann Landers
